Cigarettes After You

I don't miss you in the morning That's when I'm still half asleep I miss you around 3 PM When the daylight starts to bleed I check my phone like it owes me something Like your name might reappear But the screen just stays dark And I've been staring at it for a year These are cigarettes after you Burning slow, turning blue I don't even smoke, but I needed something to do With my hands, with my mouth, with the truth I washed your hoodie, couldn't keep the smell Now it hangs in my closet like a lie My friends say I'm doing better They don't know I still cry Not because I want you back But because I forgot who I was Before I learned to shrink myself To fit inside your love These are cigarettes after you Burning slow, turning blue I don't even smoke, but I needed something to do With my hands, with my mouth, with the truth I'm not sad the way they show in movies I'm not angry, I'm not free I'm just a room with the lights off And the door left for you to leave Maybe one day I'll wake up different And the weight will lift on its own But right now I'm just counting hours In a house that's not a home Cigarettes after you Cigarettes after you I never smoked before Now it's all I do