Firefly

I painted my ceiling with the stars I couldn't reach Told myself if I can't touch them, at least I'll have something to believe You said "it's just a phase, you'll grow out of it by spring" But the winter in my chest doesn't know how to feel anything And I've been counting cracks in the sidewalk Trying to find a way back home But every road I take just circles To the place I should have outgrown So let the floodgates open Let the ceiling fall I've been holding my breath for way too long And if I'm a firefly in a jar At least I know I'm burning At least I know I'm burning at all I wore your expectations like a sweater in July Sweating through the seams just to keep you satisfied I cut the tags off, left them on the floor Now I'm standing in my own skin and I'm not sure what it's for I've been building altars out of empty pill bottles Praying to a god I don't believe exists But if you're listening, I just need a sign That I'm not as broken as I think So let the floodgates open Let the ceiling fall I've been holding my breath for way too long And if I'm a firefly in a jar At least I know I'm burning At least I know I'm burning at all I used to think that feeling nothing Was better than feeling everything But I'd rather bleed out on the floor Than be a ghost in my own skin So let the static swallow me Let the noise become my name I'm not scared of falling apart I'm scared of staying the same So let the floodgates open! Let the ceiling fall! I've been holding my breath for way too long! And if I'm a firefly in a jar! At least I know I'm burning! At least I know I'm burning! At least I know I'm burning at all! At least I know I'm burning At least I know I'm burning Maybe that's enough Maybe that's enough