War Inside My Skin

I keep a steady face in daylight Like nothing’s out of place I shake the hands, I hold the smile I memorize the shape But underneath the surface There’s a current pulling down A quiet kind of violence That never makes a sound You say, “You look so strong” You say, “You’re doing fine” But strength is just a mask I wear To hide the fault line There’s a war inside my skin And I’m fighting just to breathe Every night it pulls me under Every morning I repeat I’m not broken — I’m awake I’m not weak — I just bend But this war inside my skin Has to end I build my walls like armor Brick by brick by brick If I let the silence linger It starts to make me sick Every doubt becomes a soldier Marching through my head Every fear a loaded weapon Pointed at my chest You don’t see the fractures Hidden in my calm You don’t hear the echo Of the damage in my lungs There’s a war inside my skin And I’m done with standing still I won’t drown in my own shadow I won’t break against my will I’m not shattered — I’m alive I won’t fade — I won’t pretend This war inside my skin Will end I gave it all my silence I gave it all my fear But I won’t feed the darkness Another year You don’t get to own me You don’t get my name This fight is mine And I won’t play your game There’s a war inside my skin But I’m louder than the noise I won’t let it steal my future I won’t let it kill my voice I rise up through the wreckage Through the fire and the pain This war inside my skin I will win