Kodiak

Randy, enough is enough! You are my boyfriend, and you do as I Say. In fact, you are very good at it. Now, come here. No. Why did I waste so much of post-puberty On you? Excuse me? These are months I can't get back. Find another guy to hold the end of your Tape measure. How dare you. Stop. Don't get him mad. He'll start speaking in verse. Randy, let's talk about this. I said stop. Calm down and listen to me. No. That was the last time you get the Last word in. Go home, show's over. I'm closing the curtain. You're nothing but a burden, and you took my Self-respect, walking me around like there's a leash Around my neck. 24 hours with a Geiger counter Counting gamma rays and beta particles that were Amounting to nothing. I found nothing. The cold, hard fact is you're The only thing I found that's radioactive. Rebecca, you've got him agitated. Sorry that you mutated more than a Teenage Ninja Turtle. Rebecca, 10 feet away she's glowing. Don't try to stay. He's going. Dumping you is his final hurdle. You took my self-respect, Rebecca. See the wreck you made of me. I'm mad as heck, Rebecca. Show a speck of human decency. So absurd, have you not heard a word that I said recently? I set my Geiger counter to A more attractive frequency. Oh. Aurora strong, it makes me feel invincible. Is something wrong? Go run and tell the principal. The leash is off my neck, Rebecca, and there's No going back. Your little baby bear is now A Kodiak. A big bear looking for different honey. Trust me, this isn't funny. He's much more than your eye candy. A big bear, he's down-to-earth and worth it. Just a bit introverted. Everyone wants a piece of Randy. Ticktock, ticktock, look at the clock. It's departure time, Rebecca, so hop into your Cockpit. Nothing good comes out of being so Co-dependent. Do you want a co-pilot? No, you want a flight attendant. I'm free to be the guy I wanna be. There's you and I, but there is no we. I got the key, you see. You're no longer my jailer. We're breaking up, Rebecca. Toss me my inhaler.