Once Upon the Natchez Trace

There was a man, now this is true. He had two faces, so help me God, Would I lie to you? Oh, yeah! One face could scare a person dead. The other face was so well-bred. Two faces sitting up there on the same damn Head. We never would stand here and lie in your Face. That's exactly how it happened once upon the Natchez Trace. Now, Jamie Lockhart was the Rubber Bridegroom. He had a bad face and he had a Good face. Good face was like a preacher's prayer. Oh. Completely honest, so help me God, Would I lie to you? The other face was stained with the juices of The wild blackberry out of the forest. That face was dark and full of crime. Looked like he'd steal your bottom dime. And both could talk to a man at the Same damn time. I never would stand here and lie in your Face. That's exactly how it happened once upon the Natchez Trace. Hey, what about Rosamund? Oh, Rosamund. They say she could change the temperature of the Moon. There was a girl, now this is true. She made the moon hot, so help me God, Would I to you? One night she sleeping in the raw. The moon looked down and dropped his jaw. He roasted hot as the sun from the sight He saw. We never would stand here and lie in your Face. That's exactly how it happened once upon the Natchez Trace. We never would stand here and lie In your face. That's exactly how it happened once Upon the Natchez Trace. Well, talking about looks reminds me of the woman Called Salome. Oh, tell them about Salome. Well, the story goes that one glance from Salome Caused every bullfrog in Yazoo City to drop dead Of heart failure. Honey, she was ugly. Oh, she was a scrawny, greedy woman. Oh, what a scrawny, greedy woman. She had buzzard eyes. Huh. Crocodile jaws. Grabby long arms and her fingers were turkey foot Claws. And she lusted after every pair of pants On the Natchez Trace. And what about her husband, old Clement Musgrove? Oh yeah, they say he was the most fortunate Planter in the whole Mississippi Territory. He was a rich and lucky planter. Oh, what a rich and lucky planter. He took one little seed and he stuck it In the ground. And from that little seed, I Swear there was cotton all around. It all went cotton plant for 110 feet high. Would I lie? Would he lie? Hey, tell us about the famous Goat of Rodney. Well, he wasn't a goat really. What was he? He was a boy. Yeah, but they say he had a brain the Size of a scuppered dog seed. Goat was his name, now this is true. His head was empty from ear to ear. You could see right through. Now, talking about heads reminds me of Little Hark. I know what you mean. They say he was The most gruesome killer in the whole history of The Natchez Trace. I thought he was telling us About a head. Let him finish. He was a mighty looking skunk. When he went by, the flowers shrunk. The willows wept at how he stunk. He carried everywhere he went his brother's bloody- Nasty, mangy-Stinky, cut-off head in a trunk. Hey. We never would stand here and Lie in your face. That's exactly how it happened once upon the Natchez Trace. We never would stand here and lie in Your face. That's exactly how it happened. A gent and a robber all in one. A girl who made the moon burn like the Sun. A greedy witch. A man that read. A brain that dead. A filthy pig. A talking head. The two of us. And like I said, a hell of a lot Happened around here. Once upon the Natchez Trace. Once upon the Natchez Trace.