There! Right There!

There, right there! Look at that tan, well-tinted skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh please, he's gay, totally gay I'm not about To celebrate. Every trait could indicate a totally Straight expatriate. This guy's not gay. I say not gay. That is the elephant in the room. Well, is it relevant to assume that a man Who wears perfume is automatically, radically fey? But look at his coiffed and crispy locks Look At his silk translucent socks There's the eternal Paradox, look what we're seeing What are we seeing? Is he gay? Of European? Oh. Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European? Well, hey, don't look at me You see, they Bring their boys up different in those charming Foreign ports. They play peculiar sports In shiny Shirts and tiny shorts. Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They both say things like ciao bella while they Kiss you on both cheeks Oh, please Gay or European? So many shades of gray Depending on the Time of day, the French go either way Is He gay or European or-There, right there! Look at that condescending smirk. Seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro hetero jerk. That guy's not gay. I say no way That Is the elephant in the room. Well, is it relevant to presume that a hottie In that costume Is automatically, radically Ironically, chronically Certainly, flirtily Genetically, medically gay. Officially gay. Officially gay, gay, Gay, gay. Damn it. Gay or European? So stylish and relaxed Is he gay or European? I think his chest is waxed But they bring Their boys up different there. It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse If he wears a Kilt or bears a purse. Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code Yeah, his accent Is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy-toed Huh. Gay or European? So many shades of gray But if he turns Out straight, I'm free at 8:00 on Saturday Is He gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-Wait a minute. Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try The Floor is yours So Mr. Argitacos, this alleged affair with Ms. Windham has been going on for... Two years And your first name again is? Nikos And your boyfriend's name is? Carlos. I, I sorry, I misunderstand. You say boyfriend, I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend. You bastard. You lying bastard. That's it, I no cover for you no more. Peoples, I have a big announcement. This man is gay and European Whoa And neither Is disgrace Oh You gotta stop your being a Completely closet case Go It's me, Not her, he's seeing, no matter what he say. I swear he never ever, ever swing the other Way. You are so gay. You big part of gay. You flaming one-man cabaret I'm straight You were not yesterday. So if I may, I'm proud to say he's Gay And European He's gay And European He's gay And European and gay Fine, okay, I'm gay Hooray