You Are Old, Father William

You are old, Father William, the young man said, And your hair has become very white, And yet you incessantly stand on your head--Do You think, at your age, it is right? In my youth, Father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again. I am old, I am old, I will tell You again I am old! You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned Before, And have grown almost uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that? In my youth, said the sage, as he shook His gray locks, I kept all my limbs very Supple By the use of this ointment--one shilling A box--Allow me to sell you a couple? I am old, I am old, It's a statement, In fact, I am old. You are old, said the youth, and your jaws Are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and The beak--Pray, how did you manage to do It? In my youth, said his father, I took to the law, And argued each case With my wife; And the muscular strength, Which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the Rest of my life. I am old, I am old, There's not much More to say. I am old. You are old, said the youth, one would hardly Suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of Your nose--What made you so awfully clever? I have answered three questions, and that is enough, Said his father; don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to Such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs. Downstairs, downstairs--be off, Or I'll kick you downstairs!