This Drink Makes It Worse

The bottle shakes the way My hands do now. I drank to quiet What won't quiet down. My son walked out, The door stayed wide. But every sip just deepens what's inside. I chased relief at the bottom of sin. But sorrow only learned to swim. This drink is not the way, I know it now. It doesn't heal, it breaks me down. It sharpens every tear I hide. Turns memory into a knife. I'm sorry, God, I chose this road. This cup made heavier the load. The night grows louder When I pour it in. My past comes back With a violent grin. I thought I'd lose the ache in time. But pain just doubled with the wine. Your wine was calling while I ran. Grace waited while I drank again. This drink is not the way, it's clear. It seized my fear, It killed my years. It stole my strength, not just my rest. And left me lower than my best. Forgive me, Lord, I lay it down. I need Your hands, not this way out. I pour it out. And choose the Cross. Oh, I pour it out. And choose the cross.