God,I’m Not Ready

The room is quiet, almost holy. Like time is standing still. Every breath feels like a question. Every second feels too real. I hear the weight of all my choices. Echo through these walls. All the roads I thought were freedom. Led me here alone. I tried to run from everything. But I can't run from You. God, I'm not ready. To face what I've become. All the things I left behind me. All the things I've done. If You're listening in the silence. If You still hear my voice. Don't let this be the moment. I lose my only Choice. I remember every warning, every time You called my Name. I heard You in the quiet, but I turned And walked away. I held on to my illusions like they'd carry Me somehow. But everything I trusted in is breaking down right Now. Now there's nowhere left to hide And no more time to run. God, I'm not ready. To stand before Your Light. All the truth I tried to bury. Is rising up tonight. If mercy still can find me In everything I've been. Then meet me in this darkness And pull me back again. I'm not asking for tomorrow. I'm not asking for my past. Just don't let this be the moment That I lose You at Last. God, I'm not ready. But I'm calling out Your name. Through every fear inside me. Through every ounce of shame. If grace is still an ocean, If love is still alive. Then take this broken soul of Mine. And help me survive. God, I'm not ready. But I'm finally here.