My New Tamagochi

I brought him home, a brand new little guy. I birthed him on the Trama Happy side. He was a clueless lad, so small and new. But look at him, a full grown lad in View. I got him into school, a proper one. Attended meetings till the day was done. I moved all heaven and a bit of earth, To get my boy a degree of worth. I give him love, hey. I feed him from above, yeah. I bathe him in the tub, sure. I sing for him my cuuuuunt. My brand new Tamagotchi, my new mate. Is nothing like the old one, second-rate. He laughs so loud, a truly cheerful soul. He barely ever wants to reach his goal. But here's the hitch, the little bugger calls, And screams at night and breaks through bedroom Walls. My brand new Tamagotchi, I confess, is quite a lad, I guess, And nothing less. I sat for hours watching by his side, When chicken pox had him all sore and fried. I got him baptized in the local church. To parties I would give his leash a lurch. And then they sent a military call, For two whole years to serve and stand up Tall. I pressed the buttons, every single one, And squashed it all until the fight was won. I give him love, hey. I feed him from above, yeah. I bathe him in the tub, sure. I sing for him my cuuuuunt. My brand new Tamagotchi, my new mate. Is nothing like the old one, second-rate. He laughs so loud, a truly cheerful soul. He barely ever wants to reach his goal. But here's the hitch, the little bugger calls, And screams at night and breaks through bedroom Walls. My brand new Tamagotchi, I confess, is quite a lad, I guess, And nothing less. He got himself a job, a real career. He's making loads of cash, it's pretty clear. But in my soul, a worry starts to brew. His batteries will die, it's coming true. And recently he took himself a wife, A neighbor's Tamagotchi for his life. A message popped up on his tiny screen. "Oh man, I'm off to soaking sun and sea." I give him love, hey. I feed him from above, yeah. I bathe him in the tub, sure. I sing for him my cuuuuunt. My brand new Tamagotchi, my new mate. Is nothing like the old one, second-rate. He laughs so loud, a truly cheerful soul. He barely ever wants to reach his goal. But here's the hitch, the little bugger calls, And screams at night and breaks through bedroom Walls. My brand new Tamagotchi, I confess, is quite a lad, I guess, And nothing less. My brand new Tamagotchi, my new mate. Is nothing like the old one, second-rate. He laughs so loud, a truly cheerful soul. He barely ever wants to reach his goal. But here's the hitch, the little bugger calls, And screams at night and breaks through bedroom Walls. My brand new Tamagotchi, I confess, is quite a lad, I guess, And nothing less.