You Make Me Wish I Met You First

I watch you and I think, "How did you stay this way? How did the world not take this from you The way it took it from me?" I flinch at things you haven't done. I brace for things you haven't said, And sometimes I catch myself apologizing for Someone else. You make me wish I met you first. Before I learned that love comes with hurt. Before I built these walls so high. Before I practiced every goodbye. Maybe I'd have known how to stay open. Maybe I'd have trusted what I felt. Instead of reaching for the exit every time I Started needing someone else. You make me wish I met you first, When I still knew how to be all in. I think about the version of me You never got to know. The one before the damage, before I learned to Hold back. I would've loved you louder then, Without all this careful and slow. I would've reached for you without already planning How to survive losing you. You make me wish I met you first. Before I learned that love comes with hurt. Before I built these walls so high. Before I practiced every goodbye. Maybe I'd have known how to stay open. Maybe I'd have trusted what I felt. Instead of reaching for the exit every time I started needing someone else. You make me wish I met you first, When I still knew how to be all in. But maybe that's not how it works. Maybe I had to lose what I lost To recognize What I found. Maybe I had to become this version of me To understand the value of you. So I'm not gonna waste what's left Of the open parts of me. You make me wish I met you first, But I'm glad I met you at all.