Like You're Going to Hurt Me

You hold me close and I count the days Until something good like this just fades away. You say my name like it's safe to stay, But I keep waiting for the price to pay. I know you've never given me a reason to Run. But every love before you taught me what I'd Become. I'm sorry I love you Like you're going to hurt me. Like every gentle word comes with a Warning. I'm sorry my heart still leans toward the Worst. Like every good thing disappears Eventually first. You're giving me something I don't know how to Hold. I've spent so long believing beautiful Things don't last long. So if I pull away, it's fear, Not you. I'm sorry I love you like I'm waiting to Lose. You reach for me in the middle of the Night and I'm already rehearsing goodbye in my mind. You look at me like forever could exist while I'm standing there afraid of what this is. Every calm moment feels too fragile to trust. Like peace is only temporary for someone like Us. It's not you I doubt when I start to Close down. It's every scar that still follows me Around. I'm sorry I love you like you're going to Hurt me. Like every gentle word Comes with a warning. I'm sorry my heart still leans toward the Worst. Like every good thing disappears Eventually first. You're giving me something I don't know how to Hold. I've spent so long believing beautiful Things don't last long. So if I pull away, it's fear, Not you. I'm sorry I love you like I'm waiting to Lose. You keep staying when I expect distance, And I don't know what to do with that Difference. Part of me still waits for the ending To start. Even while you're standing here holding my heart. I'm sorry I love you Like you're going to hurt me. Like every soft moment hides Something beneath it. I'm trying not to turn this into another Goodbye. Trying not to ruin something before it's Alive. You're patient with a heart that still expects to Break. A mind that keeps searching for the exit To take. Maybe one day, I'll believe this feeling can Stay. But I'm not fully there yet. Maybe I'm learning. Maybe fear doesn't always win. But I'm Still afraid Of how much I want this.