By My Own Grave

That day we walked in the park, played ball, this time we spent together All I remember looking the pictures and nothing more I had a dream of the past showing me your face Everything I know of you, just images fading away Disturbed life, from the start painful dread remains Paralyzed from the start, something was missing Feeling the pain within, gnawing away Living alone, no one knows you're dead inside Standing over the casket of my dearest one No tears flowing though, cause I didn't know the man No memories, no feelings or anything inside Just an emptiness all the way down to my gut I am who I am and I have my faults indeed I have the same defaults that used to be in my ancestors blood My name is carved on my fathers own grave And some day i will rest by my grave By my grave No true emotions nor actual memories No true bond with the man, no bond to feel the grief Only memories of pain, not much else to go All things don´t mean much in the end Did he exist at all I've only heard the stories, never spoke to the man himself I've only heard the rumours so I could define myself The heritage though haunts me, I feel am on my own I make my own destiny, no matter if it's right or wrong I am who I am and I have my faults indeed I have the same defaults that used to be in your DNA My name is carved on my fathers own grave And some day we will meet by my grave What I cannot remember, does not exist for me It's the same poem that's repeated my entire life What i know has happened will always linger in my brain Something like that cannot be shaken off The memories that stayed before the day of your demise Are only from when you lost your fickle bond with life When was the time you realized that you are different a person alone that feeds from grief Disturbed life, from the start painful dread remains Paralyzed from the start, something was missing Feeling the pain within, gnawing away Living alone, no one knows you're dead inside I am who I am and I have my faults indeed I have the same defaults that used to be in my ancestors blood My name is carved on my fathers grave And some day i will rest by my grave By my own grave By my own grave