Cement Prayers

Yeah. You know the sound. That's the block breathing. Say your prayers, But the concrete don't listen. Check. I was born in the shadow of a burned-out Streetlight, where the only way to eat was to Stand and fight. Mama worked double shifts, Still couldn't pay the rent. I was ten years old, already had a sense That the world don't love you 'less you got Something to give. Uh. And if you got nothing, you just learn to Live off the scraps, off the hustle, off the Sweat and the sin. Every door that was open, I had to break in. I seen my first body before I hit my Teens. Now I see 'em in my sleep, in Between the scenes of a life that I never Asked for, but I couldn't refuse. When you're born on the bottom, you got nothing To lose. So I move weight like a chess Piece, calculated and cold. Every move I made was a story untold. They said, "Get a job." I said, "Show me one that pays for the Pain in my back and the look on my Face when I pray." Cement prayers. They don't reach the sky, but I still send Them up every time I survive. Another day, another dollar, another body in the Ground, and the city keeps spinning, don't make a Sound. Cement prayers. I whisper 'em low 'cause the only one listening Is the one in the know. The street taught me everything the church couldn't Say, so I pray to the block when I'm Losing my way. Uh, yeah. My brother caught a case, not his first, not His last. They gave him fifteen years for a Crime that passed-Yeah through a system that's built To keep us in place like a stain on The wall that you can't erase. I visit him on Sundays through the glass and The wire. He still got that fire, but the Hope is retired. He told me, "Little brother, don't end up like Me." Nah. "The game is a mirror. You see what you wanna see. But the truth is the barrel. The truth is the clip." "The truth is the moment when your finger just Slips." I took that with me. I carried it close like a scar that you Hide, but you never dispose. 'Cause I got a daughter now, and she looks In my eyes, and I gotta pretend I ain't Telling no lies about where I go when the Night gets deep, about the promises I made that I couldn't keep. Cement prayers. They don't reach the sky, but I still send Them up every time I survive. Another day, another dollar, another body in the Ground, and the city keeps spinning, don't make a Sound. Cement prayers. I whisper 'em low 'cause the only one listening Is the one in the know. The street taught me everything the church couldn't Say, so I pray to the block when I'm Losing my way. I used to think that being A man meant being hard, meant never showing Weakness, never dropping your guard. But I learned that the hardest thing you'll ever Do is to stand in the mirror and see The truth. That you're not the hero. You're not the villain. You're just a man in a war that nobody's Winning. The block don't care about your pride or Your name. It just takes what it takes, And it plays the same game. So I walk with my ghosts. Uh. I walk with my scars. I walk through the night under deadening stars, And I whisper to nothing 'cause nothing replies. But I keep moving forward. I keep my eyes on the faintest of lights, On the thinnest of threads. 'Cause even in darkness, the living ain't dead. Uh, uh. So here's my testament, Written in blood and in ink. Woo. Every page is a struggle. Every line is a link to the men who Fell, to the women who cried, to the children Who ask why. I ain't got no reply. I'm still standing, still breathing, still holding The weight, still walking the line between love and Hate. They can take my freedom. They can take my name. But they can't take the fire. They can't take the flame that was lit in The alleys, forged in the fight, that burns through The darkest and coldest of nights. So I raise my voice though the world is Deaf. I speak for the ones who got nothing Left. This is not a plea. Uh. This is not a cry. This is a cement prayer se-sent to the Sky. Uh. Cement prayers. They don't, th-th-they don't, they don't reach The sky. But I still send them. I still send them.